saydolly:

Aziz Ansari is like the king of callouts.

(Source: renloras)

life-writer:

i made some itty bitty bills

uigan:

image

Cashier: That'll be $4.03
Me: I only have $4...
Cashier: That's ok, I have the three cents
Me: ...........
Cashier: ........
Me: what are we?

professional-bird:

CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT POPE FRANCIS IS SO FRIKKIN CHILL THAT IF AN ALIEN WALKED IN TO THE VATICAN HE WOULDN’T EVEN FREAK OUT HE’D JUST BE LIKE “SUP DUDE LETS GO GET YA SOME JESUS” 

(Source: traceexcalibur)

gryffinewt:

when your friend makes a vague post and you’re worried it’s about you cause if it was it’d be true 

image

SOURCE

(Source: juz-blaq)

dildotho:

one time when I was 13 I wrote wtf on a Facebook status and my dad had a talk with me about being appropriate on the Internet

(Source: dildotho)

rivailleackerman:

↳Baby Kaneki

digivice:

"B-but…Hide…Hide w-will know th-that I’m…that I’m a…!"  expectation vs. reality.

"you’re a monster" / "all this time…you’ve had to suffer like this."